KUMBE KAULI MBIU YA MAPENZI NI UONGO

Wakuu, 

Nimekuwa nasaka rafiki wa kike lakini dah, kila msichana ninayekutana naye nikimweleza yangu ya moyoni kiukweli anakuwa mbishi, haambiliki, hasikii! Mara nina mchumba, mara oh, sitaki mahusiano kwa sasa! Mara kwani wewe unafanya kazi gani? Ukimwambia ukweli ndio huyo kapotea humpati tena! Sasa nikajiuliza tatizo ni nini?

Nikagundua ya kwamba huwa nawaambia ukweli. Sasa nikajiambia, weka pembeni ukweli kwa muda. 

Siku moja nikakutana na mdada fulani mrembo halafu mtanashati, nikamsalimia halafu nikaonyesha nina haraka sana, yaani hata sekunde ya kuongea naye sina mpaka yeye mwenyewe alishtuka; halafu nikamwomba namba haraka, halafu nikachomekea "u look so understanding", akatabasamu, bila kujiuliza akanipa namba. Kumbuka sikumbeep, ila mara tu tulipoachana nikampigia, nikageuka fasta ili nione kama anapokea kuhakikisha kama alinipa namba yake kweli.

Alivyopokea nikamwambia ahsante kwa kunipa namba yako nitakupigia baadaye. Over

Baadaye jioni nikampigia, mazungumzo yakawa kama hivi:

mimi: Hi (Ujue madada wengi wanapenda kusikiliza kiingereza hata kama cha kuchapia)

yeye: How are you, are you fine?

mm: I'm well

yeye: Kwani ulikuwa unaenda wapi mbona ulikuwa na haraka hivi? (Nikasema yes, kajiingiza mwenyewe!)

mimi: Nilikuwa naenda ubalozi wa Uingereza kucheki kama visa yangu imetoka (Ah wapi, mie hata sijui ubalozi uko wapi!)

yeye: Are you travelling to UK, for what?

mimi: I'm having a meeting in London next Tuesday. You know, I'm bored with these so many ----ing trips! (Ah wapi, sijawahi kwenda popote, wadada wakati mwingine wanapenda dirty language - unaona, jamani hiki kizazi!)

yeye: Sawa so kuna, nini huko?

mimi: Ye know, this Barclays thing, ts a business meeting anyway (Ukijihusisha na bank si wanajua hela zote za bank ni zako! Shauri yao)

yeye: Kwa hiyo wewe ndio nani Barclays sasa?

mimi: A minute pls? Want to pick a call from Newyork, it is important, sorry!

yeye: Ok

Baada ya muda nikampigia tena

mimi: Hello

yeye: Yap

mimi: Another trip again, 

yeye: Wapi?

mimi: Newyork, this is purely shit, I need to rest! I can't be travelling all over the world even if I'm being paid! (NY wapi, hapahapa Dar!)

yeye: Kweli? (Akataka kushtuka!)

mimi: Hizi safari ni za kawaida sana kwangu dear, sema tu wakati mwingine zinaboa sana, yaani mtu hata haupumziki! Hata kama ni hela jamani, this is too much! (Za kawaida! Atajaza mwenyewe, safari ya kwa Ob mchezo!)

yeye: Pole dear, ndio kazi utafanyeje! (Kaanza kuuvaa mkenge sasa!)

mimi: Thank you

yeye: Kwa hiyo ukienda utarudi lini?

mimi: One to two weeks. Thank you for a talk, I will call you when I'm in London. Bye

yeye: Nakutakia safari njema my dear. Bye

mimi: Kwa kweli nitakuwa "extremely" busy kwa sababu ya maandalizi ya mkutano, usishangae nisipokuwa hewani! See you when I'm back

yeye:

Sasa nilimpigia kwa kutumia skype credit, alivyoona namba la ajabu ajabu si akajua nipo London! Kumbe mie napiga zangu kutoka Tandika! Kwisha habari yake!

Story itaendelea

Jamani hii ni ajabu na kweli! How comes "uwongo" works so perfectly kuliko "ukweli"?